Fifty Shades…

Ha! That grabbed your attention didn't it? So, I'm reading the Fifty Shades trilogy. It's juicy and scandalous and if you haven't grabbed a copy yet, then stop reading this blog and go grab it at Chapters. Seriously, it's delicious… but more of a chick book, to be honest… so, sorry fellas.
Anyways, in light of this scrumptious book I'm 'wrapped' up in, I've decided to spice up some turkey leftovers with this satisfying turkey 'wrap'. (Afternoon delight anyone?)
We all know the usual leftover turkey suspects: hash, turkey pie, turkey sandwiches and the all familiar... wait for it... turkey soup! (There’s a ‘limp noodle’ joke in there somewhere). I’m not slamming these guys – they all have their good merits, but sometimes we all need a good spanking... I mean change!! Yes, we all need a change. (See what I did there?) Anyways, here's a new way to use your turkey leftovers that everyone will love. I made these last night and they're finger lickin' good, so I bet Christian would like ‘em too! (Oh, my Fifty) Ok, ok, enough with the kinky bloggery innuendos.
Christian's Finger Lickin' Turkey Wraps

Whole wheat flour tortillas
Leftover turkey or chicken, chopped
Handful of spinach or romaine lettuce, chopped
1 tbsp. mayonnaise
1-2 tbsp. leftover dressing (mainlanders call it stuffing)
1-2 tbsp. cranberry sauce (recipe below)
1 tsp. pine nuts

Slather mayo and cranberry sauce on a tortilla. Add turkey, spinach, nuts and dressing on one end of the wrap, gently folding down each end and roll – making sure to pinch the top. (Oops… forget that last part… wrong directions). If you've got a Panini press (it's on my Christmas list) then now would be a great time to use it. If not, placing the wrap on a hot, lightly greases pan and pressing down with a spatula for a minute will do. Cut on the bias and serve warm.
Cranberry Sauce:
Anyone that's ever had turkey dinner at my house knows I make my own cranberry sauce. Everyone always seems so impressed and believe me, I'm flattered, but it's probably easier than opening that can and getting the slimy sucker out in one piece. Here it is:

1 cup sugar
1 cup water
1 tbsp. honey
4 cups fresh or frozen cranberries
1/4 tsp. nutmeg
1 tsp. orange or lemon zest
Wash and rinse cranberries. In a saucepan bring to a boil water, sugar and honey, stirring to dissolve sugar. Add cranberries, return to a boil. Reduce heat, simmer for 10 minutes or until cranberries burst.
Remove from heat. Add nutmeg, stir and cool completely at room temperature, chill in refrigerator and garnish with zest. Cranberry sauce will thicken as it cools.

Aphrodisiacs added to this recipe… Because I can.
Honey - In Egyptian times, lovers on their "Honeymoon" drank mead. It was thought to "sweeten" the marriage.

Nutmeg - This spice has been prized by the Chinese as an aphrodisiac for women.

Pine Nuts - Zinc maintains male potency and pine nuts are full of it. These small nuts have been used to stimulate the libido as far back as the Medieval ages… like when they used to tie people up and torcher them. (Gasp)

There… a meal fit for a hot-tempered, sexy, megalomaniac billionaire.

Laters, baby


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